Day 4: Agony

GOAL: STEP ON THE TREADMILL
STATUS: COMPLETE

I walked for 0.1 miles for 6:45.

To the humiliation, sweat, perpetual aching whole-body soreness, drudgery, and dispair, we now add agony. 

Twelve- to fourteen-hour workdays without breaks have become writhing eternities of unending torment.

Now, I not only eliminate copious amounts of fluid when I'm on the treadmill, but I've started breaking out in cold sweats and chills whenever I think about the treadmill. 

Which happens two or three or fifty times a minute.

I've resigned myself to the task, but it nevertheless consumes every spare thought and intrudes on the not-so-spare ones.

Has anyone developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) about exercise?!  Not making light of PTSD or those who suffer due to facing much more serious threats--just trying to grapple with a much-less serious issue that is nevertheless causing me to seriously re-evaluate my life and my choices.

I'm wondering whether it ever gets better.

Seriously, does it EVER get better?!!!

The only glint of silver lining in this ominous, looming, ever-present cloud of darkness is that I walked more than a whole minute longer than yesterday.

Then, I drowned my sorrows in a bowl of cookie dough. 

NUMBER OF CONSECUTIVE DAYS WALKED: 0004
TOTAL NUMBER OF DAYS WALKED: 0004
TOTAL TIME WALKED: 27:52
TOTAL MILES WALKED: 0.5
MILES TO GO: 999.5 OUT OF 1000
TIME TO GOAL AT CURRENT PACE: 27 YEARS 133 DAYS 6 HOURS
TIME TO GOAL AT AVERAGE PACE:21 YEARS 325 DAYS 18 HOURS